Welcome to the Arena! Tickets please...
You knew it would happen. Grace verses geek, Creator verses
computer, Benevolent verses BASIC. It could be a close bout,
with Gates being a cybor... I mean, lets take a closer look
at the contenders...
God
Race: ?
Gender: ? (he's a man. c'mon, lets just face it.)
Age: A million years is like a second to him. Sounds like a
mid life crisis, if you ask me.
Weight: ?
Nick names: Creator, Almighty, Lord, Father, Home boy, Snuggle
Muffin
Pet peeves: Sinners, demons, lazy sons.
Catch Phase: "I will share my love... with my fist!"
Specialty Move: Divine Drop-kick
Now this guy has an impressive resume, but not when it
comes to fighting. I mean, sure, create the world, create some
humans, unconditional love, sure, but crush someone's face by
wiggling an ear lobe, now that is something to worship. If this
guy is all forgiving, I wonder when the last time he had to
utterly kick the snot out of someone was... probably back in
the good old days of the Old Testimate. Not that namsy pamsy
New Testimate stuff, the old stuff was 'worship or feel my loving
wrath!' That and there was talking flames. I now refuse to read
anything that doesn't have a talking flame in it. Wait. Considering
that I've only read one book out of the Old Testimate and the
closest thing I've come to the rest was the few seconds of EWTN
that I see channel surfing, I guess I'm just full of crap. Or
EWTN is bad for you. Yeah, it's bad for you.
Bill
Gates
Race: Human, probably
Gender: Male
Age: We will live forever.. Resistance is futile...
Weight: A whopping 125 lbs.
Achievements: Computer marketing, making more money than my
whole town combined, furthering the devil's cause on earth.
Geek factor: 9, Mr. Sulu
Biggest advantage: Buying and selling lives like corn flakes.
Specialty Move: Monopoly Meat Masher (ouch!)
Multi-billionair, marketing genius, why not the Almighty? He
already could buy most of the earth and have people bow down
to him in worship or his specially trained team of genetically
engineered hot women will come and wreak havoc. Yes, I've seen
Dark Angel. Hasn't everyone? I mean, yeah, sure, we're watching
it for the wonderful writing and the suspenseful story. Pfft.
Ooo, I wonder if he's really the bad guy, and if he killed...
oh wait! She's doing flips wearing hot pants! Don't care anymore!
Some how I've gotten around describing Bill Gates and spent
the whole time talking about Baywatch in the disguise as an
action show. Poop. I hope this doesn't effect Bill Gate's chances
of winning. Uh... mm... He's smart, he makes lots of money,
and he likes computers! Yeah! Go Bill! If he can't rule us,
no one can! (oh man, I suck so bad... *whimper*)
Who will win? Vote and find
out!
Previous Arenas:
Lucky vs. Bilbo
